Archive | June 2014

How dare you!

Today, i have witnessed some very disturbing behavior.  I have to say that I am very upset and hurt by it as well.  Now anyone who knows me knows that I am not one to post about anything personal….dealing with myself or others that I am close with.  But today, I feel the need to say this!

It is one thing to voice your opinion about a situation, but to turn around and basically make it seem like you are the good guy in a situation and that you have done nothing to hurt the situation is wrong. Just over a year ago, it was taken into your own hands for you to ask someone to marry you.  Not them to ask you, but you ask them.  When a person does this, usually that means that they are committed to the relationship, to making it work, and to putting in the time and effort to push through the issues; to pray together and to go to church together, to be fully engulfed in the marriage as GOD has put you together as one.  If you were not ready for the commitment, then you should not have proposed and then said I Do!  You knew the ramifications going in and that everything wasn’t as simple as 1-2-3 (on her end).  But you still walked down the aisle and said I Do!  Then after not even a few months, you can’t cope and you turn around and make everything all about you when it should have been about we…not me.  You left.  Love is not all about “me.” It’s actually more about “you!”  When you devote your life to someone, what you want is not supposed to be in the forefront of your mind.  It should be, how can I make things better for them.  She went out and got a job to help support you and the family, to make things more comfortable for you.  She never asked you to stop doing what you were doing.  All she said was come home sometimes!  I don’t think that is too much to ask of a spouse.  Do you?  

When you love a person and you care about a person, (truly and genuinely) you do not want to cause them any hurt, harm or danger. But when you take the cowards way out and bounce without notice, without logic….that is some BS.  What did you think was going to happen?  When you approach someone and ask them for their life, that is you taking it into your hands to do what you “wanted” to do.  How can you say that you love someone and then you leave and have not been seen again in months?  When the posts begin to be more about me and not us?  It is not easy being a woman who has loved for a long time.  It’s not easy trying to put on a front so that everyone doesn’t ask you over and over again….what’s going on?  Where is your husband?  Aren’t you married?  How do you answer that question without letting on that your husband is a **hole who broke your heart?  Oh it has been done, over and over again.  And not once have you been slighted or talked about in a wrong way.  

How dare you take the easy way out and just leave!  How dare you try to make it seem like she is the one who asked you to change your life and to do something that you didn’t appear to want to do!  How dare you walk out and then avoid the situation for a second time, not return phone calls, or text messages!  How dare you turn around and make it seem like everything is all about you!  How dare you sit and make it seem like there is not more to the situation than there is!  How dare you say that you love them and you want the best for them when in reality, you want whats best for you!  How dare you do that when you only give a piece (yours) of the story!  

What the whole world sees is your side.  Why?  Because she has had more respect for you than you ever had for her.  Because she is a woman of God who honors what she has said she would do.  She has loved and supported you, even through all the drama.  But when a fact is stated on Social Media, it’s a problem.  You don’t have a problem posting what you are, so why can’t she post what she’s not.  How much of a double standard is that?  And how dare you not defend her for simply stating the truth.  You do it all the time.  How hypocritical can you be?  I used to think that you were different, that you were genuine.  I used to think that you really cared for my friend, but now I see that you are a selfish, inconsiderate, lonely, hurt, sad and confused man with very little respect for the person that you asked to spend your life with.  Please remember that it was never her that came to you and said hey, marry me! It was you that pursued her.  So when your friends say that she is in the wrong….remember you started the entire spiral of events.  Not her! SMH!  Come one people, get a clue and lastly, like the title of this post says:

How dare you!?!